Euphoric Fatigue (euphoricfatigue) wrote,
Euphoric Fatigue
euphoricfatigue

i went to see some movie with russell crowe? russel crow? whatever, i am too tired to look it up, but it was a movie based on a book, about a british sea captain, and his dealings with the french "ghost" ship. it was very loud, (cannons and swashbuckling and puffy shirts and all) but i thought it was a good movie. if you like that kind of thing.

(which i do)

i thought of you after the movie, and before, but alas, i was with b, and well, i am feeling a little put out. i mean, i really like him, and i like spending time with him, but there is nothing i dislike more than a) my showing up late, and b) kissing in the parking lot (kissing in and of itself is fine, it is just timing is everything), and well, i don't like to kiss and think about other things, *whatever they may be* and then basically be told he has to get to bed early. granted it was after 1am or so, (late
show) but still. and he is going to school, and of course, that requires some study time, even for the super intelligent, (if in fact they are with day to day type activities) and that kind of leaves me feeling (in spirit) that i am kind of left in the lurch. i mean, he is very nice when he is telling me he has to leave, and sleep (imagine that) but then i do not like that if i stop *kissing* or *carrying on* he gets kind of like, "i wonder if i made her mad" because suddenly he might change his mind about smooching or something. sigh. it is either simply stay or go. when i say go, he wants to loiter. men!

he says he has "feelings" for me. what does that mean? i mean, i LIKE him, but i have only been out with him a handful of times. and while it feels good, and nice, and all warm and fuzzy, i am reserved when it comes to personal things, and for pete's sake, i am not about to tell him i love him or something, no matter how hard he fishes. asking me "what are you doing with me" kind of things, as if he has some terrible character flaw, besides knowing every line in the book.

and i feel so out of the loop. i mean, i find out within the past few days, that dylan (the one i intially wrote that ad thing for?) so HE could find a nice person to date or something, well, he met some girl (on his own) at his local dog park in naples, fl, and they went out a few times, and whammo, she tells him that she's pregnant. i mean, he told me they only kissed a few times. and that he really liked her. and he is 35 or so and she is a whopping 21. and the baby is her old boyfriends, and apparently he isn't all that much of an old one. and three dates and a baby on the way is not the best way to make some decision about a relationship or something. and then, he tells me that she was considering her options... and um, well i
personally wouldn't say there were any... but this is the United States of America, and persons of the female sex are allowed to make decisions, by law, even without contacting the father, and all that kind of thing, but in the back of my mind i am thinking (maybe even screaming) that abortion isn't pretty, and um, if you can even consider abortion, even fleetingly, how come you couldn't think about birth control? i mean, one ounce of prevention is worth one thousand sorrows or something. THINK! and dylan has had the worst luck with girls lately.

i mean, gosh.

i really do like kids. i always thought i would have a bunch, but well, i didn't have a husband, and the whole kids without dad's thing really didn't appeal to me. and besides, babies don't really come from the stork or cabbage patch, do they? and well, there was no funny business going on.
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