January 2nd, 2004

dad & fish & i

(no subject)

happy new year.

no really.

i mean it.

and thank you kevin, for making my holidays bearable. i don't believe i could have gotten though them without you.

and while i don't want to sound bitter, i know i will, but what do i care anymore? the most recent ex boyfriend, told his friend and roommate, kevin, that he would move out. this would leave kevin in a difficult situation, since he needs help to pay the rent. since they are both students. i mean, he threatened to move out, because i have been hanging out with kevin. oh, how DARE i do that? how dare i LIKE someone else, no matter on what level? listen, buster, you broke up with ME, not the other way around.

that doesn't give you the right to give a friend you have had for 11 years or more ultimatums. what the hell?

and fuck brady for acting like a baby.

yeah, friends demand ultimatums from friends.

so why do i feel like i still want to date jerk boy? hmmm? why?

if anyone one else on this planet treated me that way i would hate them.

if i must choose between being honest to brady, (and i think witholding the truth is just as bad as a bold faced lie) and being sneaky and stealth just so i can go out drinking or to a movie with kevin, and if this whole friendship with kevin is causing kevin problems... i don't want to cause him problems. i just wanted to be friends. but i can't be friends with someone if i feel i have to compromise my values, or feeling to be with them.

what the fuck did i do to brady? uh, that would be NOTHING.