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Kiwi Injections Free
Monday, November 29th, 2004

Date:2004-11-29 02:40
Subject:Joke of the Day
Security:Public
Mood: amused

From Prarie Home Companion


A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by saying only polite words, playing soft music and doing anything else he could think of to clean up the bird's vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"

3 comments | post a comment



Date:2004-11-29 13:19
Subject:
Security:Public

this is a note to anyone on lj who post things that make me think you might be suicidal, or at least very depressed.

i will not apologize if i call the police, or if i contact people i think might be able to help you. even if i don't know you in person. even if i never have chatted with you...

i only know a very few people in real life from lj. uh, that would be about 3 of them on my friend's list...

when i was a sophomore in high school, i was already an emt. late one afternoon, i was sent out on a call for a "shooting" incident. i heard over the intercom the caller's address and information because at the time, the dispatcher's calls were all broadcast over the intercom, so people down in the garage area could be advised of the situation before deployment. the voice of the person calling was a young girl... could have been sandy, or it could have been her younger sister.

anyhow, i knew the address as being the home of a girl also named sandy. she was one year ahead of me in school, making her a junior at the time. we were both on the tennis team together, and i knew her from girl scouts.

when i heard the address, i thought maybe sandy's little sister was playing with a handgun or something. when i arrived at the scene with the other ambulance personnel, it only took a few seconds to find out the injured person was sandy, and not her little sister.

it was a horrific mess. guns and heads and depression don't mix. but that is besides the point...

life is precious... if you are depressed, get help. there are lots of places you can call for help. attempting or actually killing yourself is not a solution. not an option.

but i won't apologize for caring or for trying to help. even if i don't know you. if you post things that are public in any way, including stuff that is "friends only", if i am on your friend's list i read them from time to time.

so be well. deal with issues.

if you have any questions about my personal policy, email me.




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