which reminded me of an ugly episode about a month ago.
i went to the lake with my "not boyfriend". he took his larger of 2 speed boats.
he drives a tahoe to tow the trailers of each. i am used to driving a f150 with a small sailboat trailer.
i told him i was very uncomfortable trying to drive his vehicle with a trailer especially backing and such.
well, we got to the lake. i had been assured that the marina personnel would deal with the launching for a mere 7 dollars.
yeah, right. spend 7 dollars, have a great day, or not.
so, the launch itself wasn't so bad. he backed it down the ramp. i just had to drive it UP the ramp minus the boat, and find a parking spot for it.
well, in the lot adjacent to the launch, there were no spaces available. there was an "almost" space, but i was too chicken to try it.
24 minutes later, as he sat in his boat at the dock waiting, a nice guy tried himself to park the truck/trailer combo. no luck.
i asked the nice guy if he could tell the "not boyfiend" to come up and deal with his truck.
20 minutes later he comes up. tells me i should have just parked in the lot NEXT to the one we were in. ok.
we go for nice boat ride. i am not a speed boat person, but it was ok at times.
we get back to marina launch. i might mention he had hoped to rent a slip that day for the season, but there were none available.
he told me to to get the truck/trailer and back it up down the launch ramp. i know my own panic was visible. the "not boyfriend" does not communicate well when he is stressed.
he YELLS and carries on. he does not take responsibility for his own short comings in these events.
there were about 30 (really only about 3) parties waiting as well.
i attempt to back down the ramp. of course, the trailer goes the wrong way. i go forward to straighten and re back.
same problem. he is idling near the ramp in his boat.
he is yelling for me to BACK UP. etc. etc. i attempt again to back up and align properly. no luck. if you haven't done this, it takes practice and patience until you are master of the boat launch.
i try again to back up down the ramp. i become increasingly panicked as i attempt this. he is yelling and carrying on.
i yelled at him only once, saying "i am not deaf, i can plainly hear, as well as everyone else here, without your yelling".
my face is crimson. i am hyperventilating. i am having a full blown panic attack... go me.
he jumps out of his boat, and wades over to the truck. i get out. i don't say a word.
he pulls the truck forward, then backs it up the way it is supposed to be done.
i am not impressed. everyone there knows that if you are not accustomed to this procedure, it is NOT an easy thing to do.
unless of course, you are used to driving a tractor trailer or something like that.
he then has to go get back into his boat and drive it onto the trailer. he still can't. he yells again at me as though it is MY fault.
i told him that in all my time in the military, not once did anyone yell at me in such a condescending way. the only time did one person really yell at me was because he was relaying information about an injured person i had to attend to. life was in the balance. not some saturday afternoon boaters waiting their turn.
i did notice several kind expressions on people who were witness to his tirade. a jerk is is a jerk is a jerk.
then once the boat was on the trailer, the truck, trailer and boat were off of the ramp. the truck, trailer, and boat were semi parked along a lot barrier.
then HE has some sort of melt down. i didn't have a cuff, but his pulse was very weak, rapid. he was pale. i told him he needed to drink some water, cool off, relax.
we drive the unit to the other side lot, to the shade. i asked if he wanted to go the er. he declined. he sat there. eventually he ate a few crackers with cheese. mmm.
well, he seemed to come around a little more. he said he felt ok to drive. so we drove.
after about a half hour, he pulled into a drive through place. he pulled over, went in to use the rest room.
he came back. he apologizes profusely.
i am not an insensitive person, however, i reiterated that YELLING does not make a person do something if they are unable to complete a task. if someone does not understand a statement, YELLING does not make the person understand. YELLING elevates an already unpleasant situation into something completely horrible. i then asked him if the previous hour's antics were worth it. i told him if this was the way he acted, then i did not want to go boating with him again. i told him that 7 dollars was not an exorbitant amount, especially when he spent about 200 dollars in fuel. actually, about 1 hundred was used, it took about 200 to fill the 2 tanks, right? i was calm and stating facts. i did not mention that a sailboat uses far less fuel.
i didn't say anything else except that i wanted an iced tea, no lemon, no sugar.
he told me that next time he would get the marina people to do it. i told him if he allowed me to practice at the boat yard where he keeps it now, i could master the task...
i just wish people LISTENED when spoken to. you know?