Euphoric Fatigue (euphoricfatigue) wrote,
Euphoric Fatigue

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baby tiny turtle "esio"

turtle alert! turtle alert! turtle alert!

as if i did not have any time left from my mammalian cohabitants that i already am responsible for... along with the AVIAN and PISCINE varities... today we (the ?boyfriend and i) went to the local flea market. we went to pick up a sweet deal of a sewing machine i had picked out last weekend. domestic goddess? me? hardly. but a girl has to be practical, right? so, also last weekend, i located a vendor of end run/discontinued items.... if i paid retail for these at cvs or walgreens, or the local kroger, i would have paid last week about 50 dollars and this week about 100. instead, for items (no food) you can purchase at these places, for instance, an aluminum covered scented candle, plainly still labeled for 5.78, i purchased for just fifty cents. so last weekend i spent about 7 dollars and this weekend i splurged and spent 12! yes, of course these are items i would use... for instance, i bought thread and other sewing notions for either 50 cents or just 25 for things like a stitch ripper. ph! they even had sissors for 50 cents! new! singer! and at a different vendor than the sewing machine! they have all that stuff besides cosmetics or pharmacy items (they have those too) let me know if i can get anyone any of that stuff. (if you send me the money to cover it) i can send it out in a padded envelope. well worth it, really.

anyway, my mind wanders when i don't get enough sleep more than usual. sorry. so, today, besides the misc. items at that outlet place, the ?boyfriend mentions if i wanted, i could get a free turtle. a free turtle?!? you're kidding, right? ANY TURTLE? yes, you can get a free turtle. the catch is that in order to get the "free" turtle, you must purchase a place for the turtle to live. a waterway. complete with plastic palm on an island with a spiral staircase, (a place for turtle baby to "sun" himself/herself) under UV (when we get one) light.

well, that all (the waterway (Lanham Trade-Mark Act of 1946)) cost the ?boyfriend 15 dollars. oh! but wait! it also contained a 6 oz size portion serve cup of turtle chow. well... we could have, instead, purchased one of two other sizes/options. but the difference in end sticker price was just two dollars. well, nothing but the best for baby tiny turtle "esio"!! (well, at that point, we had not yet picked out names)

so, we get the little (i chose the smallest of the small) baby tiny turtle in the plastic aquarium full of them. they (the hawkers of these baby tiny turtles) had a nifty dual springboard looking thing for them to pile up onto... but obviously, that waterway was not for the novice! the diving platform was not for the faint of baby tiny turtle owner's heart.

so, we get the little "red eared slider" latin name trachemys scripta elegans


yes, i googled that turtle image, i didn't want to wake the ?boyfriend up with the flash. back here to the luxurious accommodations i share with this fish crazy person, or rather, he allows me to hang out here as of late... and the ?boyfriend places the waterway we purchased with the turtle in it complete with dechlorinated water on the counter between the kitchen and living room area. (remember, luxurious accommodations!) that baby tiny turtle photo is the spitting image of "esio"!!!

so, there precariously perched, baby tiny turtle "esio" remained until after game 2. too bad cards', better luck tuesday.

he was very upset his team the cardinals almost were shut out this game. the ?boyfriend informs me *i* have to "do something with the turtle". i said, "like what? take salsa lessons with him/her?". anyhow, my cue to add more h2o to the waterway and place the waterway with tiny baby turtle "esio"somewhere less likely to be knocked off into oblivion.

for now, baby tiny turtle "esio" lives in front of the toaster oven. i do NOT like toaster ovens. therefore, it does not get used. i would prefer tossing out in the garage. why? because. he already HAS a toaster. AND an oven. AND a microwave. for the off chance he might make something that requires "browning" or "crisping", he can use the damned oven. i might be crazy but that is how i feel.

so, anyhow, eventually, all the crisis of the past 2400 are dealt with, and i declare that i am going to bed. and off i go. well, i went to brush my teeth and stuff. when i get finally to the bed, i crawl in, and pull the covers up. it FINALLY was not humid today. well, i disappeared i guess well enough he didn't immediately notice i was there. i was almost flattened. (yeah, fat chance) well, the ?boyfriend i guess is getting what i had the past few days... congestion, sore throat, headache of that sort. so he ALWAYS watches TV in bed. i do NOT normally. i never do at my own place when i have my own place. so, mindless tv for a few hours. some comedy central guy who reminded me a little of jim carrey. again, off subject. he was sometimes very funny.

the cable guy, not the ?boyfriend.

so, back to the tiny baby turtle "esio"!

i go to fetch some practical remedy for the ?boyfriend. he complained all DAY of feeling a bit off, but he would not't take the meds. well, so at 0300 or so, when i would have preferred being asleep, he finally takes them. two headache stuffiness ones and two benedryl for him to take so i could get some sleep.

as i was "fetching" the meds, i check in on the baby tiny turtle "esio". the baby tiny turtle "esio" does not move any part of baby tiny turtle "esio's"' self. therefore, with no stethoscope on hand, and my hands are much too large to get a pulse on a baby tiny turtle "esio" that size...

so i think the tiny baby turtle "esio" has expired! no! say it ain't so! i can't have a baby tiny turtle funeral!

but what do i do? it's 0300. anyone else would be sleeping soundly for hours. what could i do? cause panic and drama at that hour? well, i could. but ?boyfriend would just blame me for the untimely departure. so, nope. not *i* seemingly the queen of drama, right? but i defy odds and i quash it i thought until about 0800. well, until finally at about 0430 am i go to check in on the "expired" baby tiny turtle "esio". well, i pick him up out of the water, and place his/her with dignity on the island under the plastic palm tree. hopefully, i deduce, if i placed under the palm tree was better than getting a waterlogged expired baby tiny turtle "esio". well, B A B Y T I N Y T U R T L E " E S I O" L I V E S!!!
apparently, baby tiny turtle "esio" was just in suspended animation waiting for me to pick baby tiny turtle "esio" up again.

it is such a relief to know i haven't killed baby tiny turtle "esio" after all.

ps: i know turtles and tortoises are different. but "elt" isn't such a good name. "esio" comes from a book, "tortoise solves a problem" by avner katz
Tags: nonsense
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