so later i get an email from the cemetary where my father is buried. they are sending a pic of the plot, so i can get an idea of what kind of marker i will select. he has a military one, but that can be installed on the back of a more traditional stone, or something. since i was in a fog a lot i don't remember a lot of details of the rest of the plot that he's in. i hadn't been there since i was 14 before that, and that seems like a very long , long time ago.