ok, i quit. i didn't know saying happy oktoberfest was "gay". my german national friend said it was no more gay than halloween. well, since i am not german, and neither are/were my parents, i wouldn't know for sure. but damn it, what an attitude. :(
do me a favor, and leave a note saying you DON'T want to be IM'd, if you don't. it would save some aggravation.