Euphoric Fatigue (euphoricfatigue) wrote,
Euphoric Fatigue
euphoricfatigue

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things with the boyfriend have been really strained. i know he was stressed about his finals (he's in law school), but i didn't know he couldn't say hi or whatever. i feel that a relationship is more give and take, but i was feeling i was doing all the giving. when i don't get what i deserve, i get mad. i put up with a lot with a few guys that i should have ended after the first date.

anyhow, i am stressed anyhow. since my dad died i find the holidays to be more difficult. and since i am estranged from my mom now that makes it even more difficult.

the public high school i attended is having it's 20th reunion. pretty freaky thinking about that, i tell 'ya.

i was really introverted in high school. i used to skip if i were late because i didn't want people to stare at me. since my last name is a v, i always had to sit in back, which meant a walk past everyone in class.

i would be mortified. it was easier to skip.

anyhow that reticent part of my personality really makes relationships hard at times. i am not perfect, even if i say i am. :P

if i have screwed up another relationship because of my inability to express myself very well, i will die. i mean really. arrrgh.

things with work are heating up. i don't really need this right now, but what the heck, maybe it will take my mind off of brady and stuff. keep me focused.

over this weekend, i went out drinking with brady's roommate. twice. actually, we went out friday specifically to drink, and sunday night we went to the beach and walked and talked and then went to pete's just to have one drink. we spoke about the thing with brady on friday, when i thought i would never ever see brady again. kevin was great about telling me brady was tough on girls, in various ways. in collge, the girls dorm really did have a brady hating club. freaky i say. freaky.

when we were walking to the street from the beach, some drunken party people said "HELLO BEACH PEOPLE". arrgh.

as screwed up if felt, i FELT like kissing kevin. i mean, just kissing him. once or something. he has really been great. he is awesome. oh, and he's available, if you're single. :)

i haven't had sex in a week. been thinking about that.

damn, and i hate aol. and i hate their ads.

went to the closing fabric strore again. some dude came up to me and was asking my opinion on some fabric. felt like mentioning the queer eye for the straight guy thing, but thougt better of it.

there is an ad on the tv for an alarm system. it is called safe touch or something. the logo looks like "safe OUCH" though. i wonder who is the creative guru who came up with THAT logo.

and kc and the sunshine band should have stayed in the 70's. keep those 8 tracks and 45's, and don't let him perform again on tv. unless he comes up with some new stuff in a new style. too freaky. and his dancers were not choreographed well. or costumed.

well, bitch and complain, bitch and complain. it is no wonder people don't want to ad me.

later then. and i am glad that we got him.
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